borrowed dreams

i realized (not so much realized, but re-realized) tonight that i dont have dreams. i dont refer only to the night-time variety. although i honestly dont remember the last one i had of that kind. i mean the August 28, 1963 kind. the sort of thing you really really really want, but it will only happen if you pour 119% of yourself into it. as of may ‘08, i will have one year until my planned escape from la. i was trying to figure out what the heck im going to do. my sister asked if i have any places i really want to go. for example, she said she would love to go to greece. i couldnt do it. i mean, i would love to go to antartica, but thats a little difficult. and not very fun. id like to go a lot of places, but nothing stuck out. ive always loved the city. but i think maybe ill escape to something less populated. a friend of mine said colorado is amazing. (she lives there. of course she recommends it.) focus on the family is in colorado springs, which isnt terribly far from denver. and im sure i could get some kinda job thru them. maybe with video stuff. who knows. hmm.. i think ill go to boston. i think ill start a new life. i think ill start it over where no one knows my name. ill get out of california.. im tired of the weather. i think ill get a lover and fly them out to spain. yeah, i think ill go to boston. i think im just tired. i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind. i think i need a sunrise.. im tired of the sunset. i hear its nice in the summer. some snow would be nice. ohhhhh yeahhh. then theres the issue of what to do with the rest of my life. i dont even know what i want to do. i keep finding great opportunities, but they screw me over. i just want a steady income that will allow me to pay bills plus eat. and maybe take a lady friend out to lunch every once in a while. or dinner. and dessert is nice too. ok im done. i was just thinking again. im living on borrowed dreams.

goodnight.

~ by doctordave on March 8, 2008.