getting the most out of sixty-two cents

so, today was 31 cent scoop night at baskin robbins. they were doing some firefighter fundraiser. i was gonna meet my friend at the saugus store, but he didnt show. either he ditched me or i had the wrong time. eventually, after waiting in payless pretending to shop for shoes, i decided id just get in line and get some cheap ice cream. i walked over to the line, and it was reeeeally long already. i weighed my options: leave and go back to the library, or stay and watch ridiculous people and get ice cream. (if you are trying to guess what i decided, obviously im writing this story, so something interesting must have happened. and it probably was not on the way back to tmc.)

so, of course i stayed. the first people i observed were a little family of 3 right in front of me: 10-year-old girl, just excited about ice cream; her 7th-grade obviously-from-another-father brother, a too-cool-to-have-fun-in-public, almost-8th-grader; and their not-in-her-twenties-anymore mom. first, brother and sister were fighting over a bouncy ball (you know, the kind you get for a quarter out of a machine in a pizza place). but sister bounced it into the parking lot and hit a car and chased after it, so mom confiscated it. then i found out sister was a first-class rock climber, judging by her skills in scaling the vertical face of the faux-rock pillars outside the stores. brother kept telling her how to do it better, but he just stood under the pillar watching her. maybe brother is really her coach? mom apparently didnt realize what an avid climber her daughter was. she just ignored her daughter’s frail body dangling high above the cruel, unforgiving pavement.

suddenly, a small squadron of teenie-boppers came up on my 6, complete with cellphones in hand and mom’s money in pocket. (granted, scoops were only 31 cents, but they spoke of incredible masses of sugary goodness they were about to acquire.) teenie#1 kept talking about this guy that was supposed to be here but wasnt and wouldnt answer his phone but his other friend was here at the front of the line but he probly wouldnt talk to her cuz he doesnt know her at all.. anyway, her friends said to just go up to the guy’s friend and say “hi im teenie#1], so-and-so’s friend. do you remember me?” but she was too shy, so she kept calling, but i dont know why. all i know is she used way too many of her mom’s minutes. then the guy finally answered, but apparently the call only lasted a half second. i think he pulled the open-close-real-fast-so-it-doesnt-go-to-voicemail-again. and i dont blame him.

then i noticed the group in front of the little family.. they were the not-so-little family. there were only 3 of them, but, well, mom was not little. she went up to the employee at the door, desirae (she was assigned to control the flow of customers in and out of the store). a few seconds later, she turned around and super-excitedly exclamed “YAY! they have sugar-free ice cream! i can eat too!!” (btw, i rarely make fun of overweight people. i know there are real and serious disorders that can contribute to obesity. i just hope she is not one of those people who thinks aspartame and other artificial sweeteners can solve her weight problem.) as her excitement leveled off, her kids noticed sister’s amazing climbing skills and thought they would try it too. sugar-free-mom apparently knew they would not make good climbers. “NO!! get down! dont climb that!” at this point sister was using a nearby trash can as an extra boost, and brother/coach did not approve. he made sure she knew she was “such a cheater”. not-23-mom still didnt know what was going on.

then a little camera crew from baskin-robbins corporate rolled up. they were: plastic-face-smiley-anchorman with mic in hand; heavy-set man-in-charge with model release forms in hand; and small-ish weird-looking guy with scratchy voice and SUPER THIN greasy hair (this is horrible, but imagine an older, human version of gollum) with video camera in hand (actually it was the same kind of camera i had before it got yoinked last year out of my dorm room, ironically, the first time i ever locked the door). they got some general coverage of the crowded line, then went inside to get pictures of some cute little ice-cream-faced kiddos. at this point all my new little friends all realized there was a ‘tv camera’ and started shouting “im gonna be on tv!!” so then sister decided to come down, and not-23-mom told her to stop touching the dirty trash can. umm.. thanks, mom.

so finally we all got inside and ordered our sugary(well, most of us)-goodness. i got two scoops. (whoa! what diet? [just kidding im not on a diet.]) they forgot to give us spoons at first, so i stared at my ice cream and pretended it tasted good. then we got our much-needed spoons, and i slowly.. really slowly.. chipped away. i got to the register and paid with coins. yaycheapicecream!! i left a little tip for the efforts of those high-schoolers who were really workin hard, and for the generosity of b-r for holding this fundraiser for firefighters. good cause. well, i walked out to the parking lot and looked back happily at the still-long line of customers-to-be. as i pulled out my keys, i realized that i was out of ice cream. all gone. so, i licked my spoon clean and threw it in the trash.

then i came back to the library. end of story.

*disclaimer: i wrote 90% of this story, then the browser tweaked on me and deleted it. i hope attempt #2 was half as good.

~ by doctordave on April 30, 2008.